Join the Baconian Foundation for Toy Collector Recognition!
Are you a toy collector that is frustrated with the way retail stores treat you? Are you tired of being frowned upon
by employees when asking toy related questions? Do you like to bitch about just about anything?
If the answer to those above questions is YES, then read on!
For starters, wouldn't it be cool if a hundred, or a thousand angry toy collectors called 1-800-WALMART and bitched, all
at the same time? I bet walmart wouldn't like it! One voice, no matter how much it bitches, can only get so far.
We must organize and compile a collective wish of demands, and UNLEASH THEM ON OUR UNSUSPECTING PREY!
BACON wants POLITE, COURTEOUS, @$$-KISSING retail employees retrieving boxes of toys from stockrooms WITH NICE TITS AND
A SMILE ON THEIR FACE!
BACON wants retail employees to stop what they are doing and open a box of marvel legends ON THE BOTTOM OF A PALLET so
I can examine and proclaim I HAVE ALL THESE ALREADY, thanks anyway!
BACON wants a frequent buyer program, with some kind of incentive involving FREE LAP DANCES!
BACON wants the latest toys RESERVED FOR HIM, HANDLED ONLY BY VIRGINS WITH WHITE COTTON GLOVES AND PANTIES ON, and
ONLY WHITE COTTON GLOVES AND PANTIES!
BACON demands these things and MORE.
EMAIL YOUR DEMANDS TO BACON NOW!!!!